


Sounds of Seattle

by AFey



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-29 14:23:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8493289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AFey/pseuds/AFey
Summary: Addison's relationships are ones of implosions or  poor timing.  Ch 1 - Addison & DerekCh 2 - Addison & AlexCh 3 - Addison & MarkCh 4 - Addison & MeredithCh 5 - Addison & Izzie





	1. Graduation Day

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song by Chris Isaak

 

**Graduation Day (Addison/Derek)**

Addison Montgomery prides herself on her resilience and the ability to pretend the opinions of others mean nothing to her. Even on tough days when she's lost a patient or the hungry whispers of hospital staff cross her path, she can fake serenity and nonchalance. Lately though, the artifice is wearing thin.

She spends her free time chasing happy memories of lazy days in the Hamptons. Sunny glimpses of the Shepherd sisters regaling her with stories of Derek. A brief brightness that flees as soon as reality reasserts itself.

Quiet moments at the hospital are the hardest. This is when the pain of missing him overwhelms her. After so many years working towards their dream of professional brilliance, she is now sobbing alone in supply closets.

The halls of Seattle Grace are not a safe space for her. Derek marks his territory with the smugness and certainty that he is the hero of their narrative and she is the villain. He always sees the world in black and white, while she prefers variations of grey.

Derek Shepherd is the ghost that never leaves her alone. He reminds her that no matter what designer perfume she applies, her skin offers up a haunting scent of guilt and shame.

His voice is the one that assails her mind in the middle of the night. A disdainful narrator snidely reminding her of every flaw and falsehood.

He is the hurdle that trips her up when she's feeling strong on the worst of days. His words are the ones that make Addison doubt her place in the world.

Derek is her Graduation Day.


	2. My Favourite Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addison sees the full spectrum of Alex Karev.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from the song by Sheryl Crow  
> This chapter rated T.

**My Favourite Mistake (Addison/Alex)**

‘Karev’ is what Addison used to call him. Annoying intern is how she once regarded him. Smug and entitled. Just a Mark Sloan sycophant.

‘Dr Karev’ was what she noticed as they worked more closely together. His resentment of her faded and a caring and professional man emerged.

‘Alex’ was the word that passed through her mind as they almost kissed beside an incubator. As they passed in the hallways, almost touching, temptation wafted from his skin.

“Oh, God” is what she groaned as his third finger entered her. In the on-call room, pressed up against a wall, she figured he might just be her favourite mistake.

‘Bastard’ is what she thinks as she drives away from Seattle Grace. Unexpected rejection is not for her. Thrown over for an intern; spurned by another. This is not the life she wants.


	3. Piecing Her Heart Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seattle is not Addison's safe space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one turned out differently than I planned.

**Piecing Her Heart Together (Addison/Mark)**

Barren. All dried up. There is no fertility potential here.

The words stalk Addison all the way back to Seattle. A toxic mantra that perfectly encapsulates her mistakes. Poor timing and bad choices the architects of the situation she now finds herself in - all alone, with her fossilised eggs.

Back at work pregnant women seem to pursue her throughout the hospital; one after another they come to her with their unexpected miracles. Each one of them is a painful reminder of what she will never have.

By the end of the day she wants nothing more than to comfort herself with alcohol and solitude. Instead she goes across the road for Preston's bachelor party. There's just the four of them and the only person she hasn't slept with is the groom. It's hardly a conventional guest list.

She heads to the bar with Mark close behind. He has no idea how hard it is to be around him. Now more than ever she wonders what might have been if she'd made a different decision in New York. She doubts they'd be together, but at least she'd have their baby.

They talk at the bar and of course he makes a joke about sex. It's his standard and mostly successful approach. Despite everything, she has to remind herself that jumping into bed with him will only ever be a temporary distraction. His touch will soothe her and make her forget promises and common sense but it won't help with piecing her heart together.

In the end she'll still be holding the same worthless cards. Cheater, divorcée, single, childless. It's not a hand she's happy with.


	4. In Her Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not the way she imagined her trip to Seattle would end.

**In Her Dreams (Addison/Meredith)**

She wonders if this is how it started with Derek and Meredith. The taste of scotch mixing with tequila. Fingers entwining in perfectly tousled curls. A hand reaching down to unfasten a button. A tongue grazing across an erect nipple.

Addison tries to stay in the moment, but she can't help imagining her former husband and his now ex-girlfriend together. She figures their first time did not begin with a lecture on relationship choices.  She doubts a drinking contest at Joe's laid the foundation for a tryst in an out-of-the-way motel room, far from the curious glances of watchful hospital staff.

As Meredith slowly strokes her, she knows that when this is over they'll both probably have regrets. But she also knows that at least this hook up is based in truth. There is no unacknowledged spouse in another city. This is not the start of a relationship that will splinter months from now when a partner arrives unannounced. 

She stops thinking of Derek once Meredith's tongue finds a flawless rhythm. She grips the cheap cotton sheets in her sweaty hands as she climaxes. Her loud gasps gradually turn to soft sighs. She realises that even in her dreams this is not a scenario she's pictured.

When she wakes in the morning she's alone. It's just her naked body in rumpled sheets. Only her red hair trailing across lumpy pillows. Just her, solo, in a Seattle motel room. To her surprise, she's completely fine with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last in this series. Thanks to waltzmatildah for the feedback along the way. I know this last scenario would never happen in Grey's, but the possibility intrigued me enough to explore. By S4 of Grey's Addison is in L.A. so her headspace is different. Less angst, more settled (from memory...)
> 
> (Extra chapter 21 October)


	5. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Comfort in an unexpected place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an extra one, super short, for anyone who may like this pairing.

**Stay (Addison/Izzie)**

Addison wonders if there's anyone else who's racked up a trifecta of Seattle interns. First, Alex Karev : slow burn build-up, hot and explosive ending. Then Meredith Grey : ill-advised alcoholic romp, though completely worth the hangover. And now, Izzie Stevens : unexpected sex in a swanky New York hotel room.

If she’s ever forced to make a confession about this turn of events, she’ll happily volunteer to being the instigator. ‘Dr Model’ has lost none of her beauty and the emotional scars she tries to camouflage with attitude, just add to the appeal. It's not a predatory instinct, more a recognition of like meeting like.

The sex starts out slow and tentative before morphing into some desperate and frantic mission to reach the finish line. The drive to be the best something else they have in common. Izzie climaxes first, and Addison takes it as a win. She's well aware that this is not a healthy attitude towards sex.

But who is she kidding. This night is not about making love and whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears. No. Tonight is searching for oblivion in the arms of someone distant yet familiar.

They lie beside each other in the dark, struggling to catch their breath. Addison sighs and turns to face the other woman.

“Do you ever miss it? Seattle, I mean.”

Izzie rolls away, her back now on full display.

“No. You?”

Looking at the perfect curves of Izzie’s body, Addison also lies.

“I should get going,” the blonde announces, the bed moving in conjunction with her words.

“Stay,” she replies, moving close enough to spoon Izzie.

“Okay.”

Addison is surprised by the response, but grateful nonetheless. Unexpectedly, this unplanned night delivers comfort.


End file.
